The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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