Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
