Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
