you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
