I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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