You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
