Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
