We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
