I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
this is an emotional support booty call
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
