I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
