pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
