I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
