Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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