Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
