My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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