I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
