i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
