he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
