This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm too high and old for this...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
