Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
