Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I FOUND THE LEGS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
