ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
