shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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