There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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