i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
