There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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