this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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