i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
