i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
