So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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