But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
