she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
