yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
