just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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