ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
