do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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