Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
