We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
