You can't special order awesome
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
