I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
