you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
