if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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