took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he shaved USA in his pubs
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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