I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
