a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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