Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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