We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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