i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
