I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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