Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
